Planting a Survival Garden
Planting a survival garden should be one of your top priorities. Now I’ll be the first to tell you that your crazy neighbors may try to steal from you. That said, growing your own food is going to be extremely important after the apocalypse.
Here are a few tips that I’ve put together to help you out. They’re not going to make you a master gardener overnight, but at least they’ll help you get started.
Learn the Basics, Kid
I realize that you may have taken biology a LONG time ago and forgotten a few things. Or you may be like 12 years old and haven’t taken it yet.
Either way- you won’t get very far if you forget about the basics of what a good garden needs. Basically it boils down to 3 things- fertile soil, clean water, and plenty of sunlight. Note that I say fertile soil- this is because your plants will draw nutrients from the soil. If it’s dry and crusty then your stuff won’t grow as well.
How to Fertilize the Soil
How do you keep your soil nice and fertile? Poop. Seriously. There’s a reason why farmers have been using manure for centuries as fertilizer.
Another good idea is to start a compost heap. Basically you dig a hole in the ground and throw food waste in there- banana peels, apple cores, etc. Cover it up so that worms get into it and eat it up. As the worms get into it, they’ll make it into compost which is EXCELLENT for your garden soil.
When you start planting a survival garden, consider using several different kinds of plants. This is better for the ground and for your health.
What you plant depends on how big your garden is, but consider having root foods (like carrots and potatoes), bushes (like blueberries), and trees (apples and oranges). You don’t want to simply plant one or two types of plants. They may be able to sustain you, but you’ll be healthier eating several different things.
Finally- make sure that you plant some beans, legumes, and nuts. In case there are no animals to hunt, these will be your main source of protein.
Don’t Be so Obvious
After the apocalypse, people won’t always be very nice. Sure, we’ll have to rely on each other- but many people will just look out for themselves.
That’s why I strongly encourage you to hide your garden any way possible- walls, clearings deep in the woods, etc. You don’t exactly want it in your front yard- if you do, you may as well have a big sign saying “free food here!”
Another thing to consider when planting a survival garden is how you’ll protect it. Eventually someone will probably figure out that you’re growing food. Will you have a giant dog protecting it? Perhaps you can hire a cannibal-ninja-turned-nice to guard it in exchange for food. Maybe you can hook up an electric fence to a ridiculously powerful generator or something.
Have Some Fun
It’s the end of the world- everything is going to hell. Why not enjoy life a little?
…in other words, grow yourself some cannabis. You know- marijuana; pot; weed; the good stuff. It’ll help you cope with the harsh realities of life, and it makes planting a survival garden a profitable venture, too.
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